Rhod Gilbert on BBC Radio Wales.

If you are listening to this, you are listening to Rhod Gilbert's Best Bits, the best bits of the Saturday morning show live on BBC Radio Wales. This week, Rhod is on holiday, so, it's me, Chris Corcoran, in the studio in Cardiff with Elis James. And it's __ international day, Wales versus South Africa.

I'll tell you what, Elis. I love / the commentator there / because / just / any ... any / associated with him going, / __ Wales have done it again !" ... Do you think ... / I wonder if he is perfect for commentating because, in normal life, whenever he sees anything really exciting, that's how he speaks. / Yeah. ... "I just / disputed a parking ticket / they / let it off / I am 50 pounds better off yet again ! / Uh ... / I was approaching the lights and I've done it. I didn't c__ the lights, and I__ managed to get through / save five seconds / it's amazing ... whenever you see / on TV / how weird their voices sound / in __ normal context. / Yeah / whatever / No, no. Never / I just ... he's so associated with kind of Welsh success and ... the greatest moments in my rugby memory. / Yeah. Is he ... / __ __ __ / is he in the building? / I don't know / maybe / we / get him down / experiment / and ask him to ... / on something really benign ... / Yeah / ... and boring / definitely / see / it looks like that bin / this is __ incredible / it was full, and now, it is, for the first time since 1999 __ __ BBC Radio Wales have emptied their bin ! ... Huh, brilliant. So, it's all ... I'm excited already. Uh ... it's all, uh ... it's all __ __ off a bit later on / in recognition of the excitement of what's coming a bit later on / one of the main features ... possibly the main feature / Yeah. / I haven't got loads of features ... possibly the main feature of the day / is called Omen D__ / right / this is / request / throw in to us ideas of omens that they have seen that suggest / going to beat South Africa today. / I am intensely superstitious when it comes to sport. / You sound ... / perfectly / superstitious ... to the extent that I __ __ __ fairly rational / rest of my life / apart from this / I / I've driven back to the house to ... to change shirts and stuff / well, last ... the Swansea-Cardiff game, you had a, uh, superstitious c__y / I wore, um, a sky-blue p__ shirt to __ __ / in Spain / Up until this point / sounds perfectly reasonable. / What a victory ! ... Incredible. / Yeah. / You know, I'm ... I'm in __ __ __ __ shirt / all of you / and then / same shirt / B__ / played / between / obviously, yeah / B__ / next world cup. What a result ! / Yeah. / Clearly, the shirt is ... I mean __ __ __ shirt is paying dividends / That's clearly the cause, then? / just to be clear, not ... not the coaching / not the players? / Absolutely not. / not ... not the training? / No. / None of this? / No. / not the momentum from the previous win? / Yeah, No. None of that / I wore this p__ shirt for when, uh, Swans won the __ __ cup / even though / too cold to wear polo-shirt / on that day, but / I put the team first / You took / really cold that day, but ... so, this shirt / previous / Yeah? / before the Cardiff game on Sunday / I was gigging with you in Wales / the polo-shirt was dirty, / yeah, / and / dirty shirt / my / other nice shirt / I considered texting my girlfriend / Can you wash it, dry it and send it to ... send it to Korkey's house / Yeah? / __ __ __ __ that's ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous / when I turned up / and we rolled over / lost one-nil / the first / just to be clear ... it wasn't the coaching ... / No, no. / the players ... / the training / it was your shirt? / and, as soon as / unzipped my coat / showed my new shirt to my friend / and I went, "So sorry" ... And he went "What?" and I went, "... Just forget it." ... So, yeah. Um ... so, ... my thing / rugby is / Wales / win / if / I / watch the game for whatever reason. So ... / Huh. / semi final __ world cup, I deliberately / watch it / done so well when / I / asleep / and / first thing I woke up / this is it then / whenever I / clearly I'm the unlucky ... for instance / to watch / analyze the game / my own time / I'm gonna be on / I won't be able to / that / I've got a friend who I nicknamed Dr. Doom ... / Yeah? / ... because __ __ exactly this reason. Whenever he watched, Wales would lose / whenever / and this went across, and / any game / one game / played / in the European Cup / we / watching it separately / I was at home / and / he / text / I can't believe it. I'm missing the game / yeah / he was gutted and devastated / what's the score / keeping him up to date / brilliantly / and / it was like a really big surprise / scoring / fantastic tries / everything. Right? / as he was getting closer to his own flat, / oh, my god / gradually, gradually the game started turning ... to the point where / got to his door, right? He was struggling to get in because / dodgy lock. ... At ... at that point, G__ started to come back into the game, and I / was / mate, seriously / don't go in / turn the telly on because / started to do badly. ... He managed to get in, he turned the telly on, and ... / the moment / watching / almost ... almost instantly, ... / Huh ... / the moment he started watching, uh, they kicked a penalty that hit the cross bar and didn't go over ... or it was a drop goal? ... Oh, I know what it was. / dropped the goal / went / bounced off / went over / You're joking. / No. And I was like, "Mate, / stop watching / lost / that's all the proof I need / that's all the proof you need / big Swanz fan / every time / lose / and I'm like / I think ... I don't know / I'm not sure / going __ actually __ any more.

We have released into the __ a, uh, feature called Omen D__ / which / asking for omens / we've had some in / All right. / Now, / you can judge these / OK. / OK? Because you are / just established, the most superstitious sporting fan in the world. / sense / my life / in every other sense, I'm / sort of, rational, functioning / I can vouch for that. / Yeah. You know, I've got a job and / it's just sport / Yeah. / anything else, Chris. / ... I had a box of Welsh cake delivered today. The box was damaged but the Welsh cakes inside were unb__ed / box / spelt __ __ __ __ / oh, nice / gonna win." / could be omen / but / happened before, though? / Hmm? / I mean __ __ I'm looking for / a trouble / way / he hasn't got time / paper / right / yeah / on / quick throw-away thing / yeah, all right / seriously / analyze / but don't take / that seriously / right / so, just, kind of, play along a little / good omen / great / actually am / other extreme / やりすぎだ / yeah / try to find __ middle ground / OK / box / damaged / Welsh / rugby omen suggests / gonna win / weirdo / What? / move on / I already don't like Martin / might / might / playing along / a bit suspicious 'cause / Radio Wales / actually / OK. / Wales / starting / lion / s__ / Wales' gonna win, obviously." That's from / uh / what / you / rock-solid / yeah / better / better / I mean / Martin / this is from / Paul Curtin / now / Paul Curtin / yeah / not spelt as in / right / quick / no / OK / Curtin / seriously / these people / you know how hard / anything / putting / is a positive feature / it is a positive feature / looking for __ omens / why they will / yeah, yeah, you're quite right / sorry / name / said his omen / other people off / anyway, here's his, right? ... Now you need to concentrate. You might want to write this down / OK / it's ... / sent this / yesterday / so, he said / 11th / tomorrow / that's a 9 / yeah / and / (1 + 1 + 1) x 3 = 9 / yeah / so, that's ... if you shift / 99 / that's the last time we / Africa / yes / into that

you / realize / going home / yeah / first train back / Shame / because you / gig in / Yes. / and then / bad enough / journey-wise / back / tomorrow, which I knew / you / if they are listening / I don't ... I don't wanna be there. ... So ... / So, you / just / line / phone / absolutely, 100% / back by 6 / early tomorrow morning / recording the first episode / Radio Wales / which is ... / Well / comedy show that / based on __ __ __ __ every couple of months or so, we'll do one of those / who / greatest / of all time / top / yeah / and then / there's always a wildcard / there / be / because P__ / or K__ M__ / Oh, K__ M__ because / grandmother / Bob M__ because his grandfather / technically / yeah / which, at the time / bit / cause / kick a ball / he ... he / playing / celebrity / football / tackled / and his toe nail came off / great / showbiz / imagine ... imagine / Bob M__ / at ... at least they were losing / amazing, wouldn't it / bearing in mind that / always / wild card / last / Barak Obama / claiming / Barak Obama is, like, / Welsh / great / like / or something / your know / true / know / decided / put it to __ tests / try to work out who / right / different topics, uh, every week / yeah / we / sort of, you know, / and stuff / very scientific process / well, you / beautifully / George Washington said, "Great / and it's true / george / son / founded the New York Times, which is why / started / bit / Western Mail / front page of yesterday's newspaper / what the hell is going on? / big deal here, boss. / I come from / newspaper / rugby / damn thing / good / headline / we need / opinion / restructuring the game, potentially / great-grandfather, now. / Yes, boss. / Right. What else / about / Great. / Uh ... / release / disappointing sounding local events / now / printing / properly, so all the photos / Come on. Perfect. / interview / forthcoming live comedy / none of the detail / correct. I mean, really / how / gigging for 22 years / why / join / terrible mistake / daily basis, yeah ! / top hundred sexiest American / Hugh E__ / top ten / the point of all this is, / recording tomorrow and / recorded / at the BBC / yes / in Cardiff / with / five / which is very exciting / or / come for / comedy / sell / short / my own PR / I mean / show clearly sounds good / pictures on the walls / yeah, yeah, / that as well / w__ing bar / drink / there are some still available / doing / this Sunday ... Sunday / after / that / doors / seven.

__ __ was born on this day / used / to / say / couldn't / judge everybody / yeah yeah yeah / 'cause / farmer / brought up / in North Wales / about you / so, she used to say / about you / cousin / used to say / funny / good / yeah / that generation / farming ability when they / eat together / clear / done / I've fulfilled my / bargain, and then / to buy / __ and chips / bring / obviously I / amazing. / Do you wanna / a bit more / a bit neglected / are you sure, though? / You don't look fine / no / very different / cool / are you sure / a lot of this / standup / farming ability / Um ... play a track, mate. / have a

the / which, I think, is one of the nicest songs / ever written ... uh ... / played much / BBC Radio Wales / this afternoon / online / Chris Corcoran seems to have done us a favour. / greatest / keep an eye on / Welsh / do you think / likely / listening / be nice / amazing / if, uh, if / please text in / do you ... what ... maybe it's more likely / famous Welsh people / listening / children in needs / right now / let's do, uh ... let's just do, um, __ consciousness / throw / you say yes or no / listening / ok / no / B__ T__ / Yes. She's / nice cup of N__ / I absolutely love the radio / favorite medium. I think / television / no, 'cause / game / yeah, 'cause / turns / C__ M__ / Uh, no / show / think / Definitely. ... Absolutely / uh, no / radio any more / ITV / volume II / autobiography / haven't / no / I think / probably making / which is gonna / the week / No. __ __ / probably / texting / yeah / texting randomly / I'm looking forward to today's games / couple / me / think / no / in the town / OK. Um ... hang on / what / top 50 sexiest men / now, I was placed / last / 24 / this year, of course / went / public / reflection / let's just say / same effect on the public / Western Mail editorial team / I am not placed / however / incredibly / public / know / sort / some / drive / message / yeah / international, is the third-sexiest man in Wales, apparently / be listening / couple of / I'm not having / no, actually I am / jones / 32nd / man / country / ridiculous / Exactly. So, if you / A__ / I think / democracy is flawed / need / you don't find sexy / define / what / apart from / Um, well ... I ... I don't know. Uh ... / say / nothing / shirt / in / real / stinkers / sexy / yeah / he looks like / he's ribbed / that's true / listening / for the game / listening / bad omen for / radio / he might be travelling / car / good luck / yeah. Um ... I accept / give / Rhod Gilbert / 19 / can I just point out / last year / Jason M__ / sexist man / oh yeah. ... I used to work / real job / management / keynote speech / and when he walked in / melted / incredible to see / and he was so nice / like / nicest guy in the world, J__ / he was / very good / yeah / A__ Jones / I mean / 1994 / you can't argue / against the public / democracy in action / action / Join / revolution / fair enough / people have spoken / kinda / wrong / I don't know / femine side / some / misguided choices in terms of /

__ story of the week. ... Right? / this is the headline / stressed / scientists. / what is this ... what / snail / in its ... in its diary that it needs to remember / I love you early scepticism / leaves / paragraphs on this / Right. OK. / with / scepticism / stress / trouble remembering things they had been taught ... according to research by scientists in D__ / calculators / work / buttons / yeah / researchers from University / nothing better / put / that / bit / in / pond snails / found / exposed to stressful events / what they had learned / questions / perhaps / obvious questions / how / teach a snail anything / methods / white board / chalk board / learning / know / early mornings / BBC2 / still / know / maybe / tablet / GCSE Bite Size / exactly / possible / kind / teach / someone something / 20% of the time / do something / of the time / if / how / research / do something / how / well, maybe / academic / maybe / during the lunch break / just / quickly / paper / meet / target / more than anything / taxpayer / money / from / University of / it's really important / interact / in life / house / yeah / problem / stressed / lot / human / high stakes / involved / snails / own house / by training / goes / their behavior / stressful / single stressful event / resulted in some impairmemt / memory / big / memory / same stuff. What / know / wanna know / stress / how / test / forgetfullness / in / article / interesting story / I think / oh / yeah / two on two / don't ask me / terrible / come here / house / for a sec / salt /

look / handyman here / so, you know how __ __ works / exactly / in use / with that in mind / century / double / sketches and silliness / how / well / way / water / bath / felt most refreshed ever since / wonderful / now / 6 months to live / Dragons continues / at / on BBC Radio Wales

it's / South Africa / kick / building / feature / omen / omens / sent / suggest / are these valid? / just / realize / wearing a red jumper / must be a good omen / on / text / Wales / might / be / think / 50 million - nil / classic / think / is / valid / yes / no / certainly / travelling from / lucky rainbow near Newport / that's ... that's / vibe / lucky / unlucky / see what I mean? / know / case / realize / maybe / over the bridge / brackets / raibow / Newport / sounds like / just finishing work / alongside me / was / stupid-looking hat / what a loser / I thought / text / definitely / great / what a loser / look like / one of those / you know / radio / the same time / beer / Homer Simpson type / south / insulting / omen / good one / but / good / I went __ shopping / on the floor outside / it's dated 1999 / last / south / omen or what / that's / well / mainly active / dawn and dusk / lot / omen / computer / eager / 1996 / fortunately the sun / 4:20 / today / dusk / over / hour / wide awake Wales / play / let's bring / forward

have / set / feature / which / good idea / involved / me / doing / spent / a lot of time together / close / friends / each other's pockets / mind / creative project / honesty / friendship / to share / three things / each other / irritate / my heart is racing / because. really / some truth bombs / broadly / like / over / one thing / say / my brain / go / negative / broadly / jeopardy involved / yeah / hope / truth / bullet / bomb / how / do this / you / feature / start / tone is / some / written down / are, frankly, __ous / probably needs / radio / all / mine / no / genuine / and, to be honest / I just feel / only / listen / me / OK / so / b__ / listeners / something / most annoying / about each other / chance / ok / so / first / most / annoying / you / last person / your / costume / every single show / means / go / tiny bit late /every / sinble / concept / care / on / impacts / a bit of both, mate / both / confused / a lot of costume / think / no / crime / uncaring / team / fact / cause / local / saying / ready/ truth / have / little / you / digital / really / want /say / emails / primary / specal / totally / phone / text / example / all / ever / commas / mark / just / fine / next / classes / teacher / weeks / positive / you / never / out / theater / never / occasioally / actually / so / me / totally / well / always / always / ever / only / empty / korkey / already / god / doing / right / nice / sure / bad / about / speak / either / about / or / welsh / b / lunch / needy / oliver / amazingly / lunch / one / always / next / second / me / friend /

if / why / every / bbc / radio / wales

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